How to Meet The Love of Your Life at an Amusement Park: by Roy Mustang
by untiemypants
Summary: **Inspired by actual events** Oneshot, RoyEd, rated for language and some mild violence,


The problem with waiting in line alone was that there was no one to talk to for a good hour and a half. Roy glanced up at the roller coaster and sighed, hoping it would be worth the long wait. His group had immediately bailed on him once he suggested going on the huge thing. Havoc had told him it was way too high and that if he wanted him to go on it, Roy should expect to get puked on. Maes tried to convince him that he should stop riding roller coasters to find his adrenaline rush and just get married. Roy had told both of them off and gotten in line by himself. Half an hour later, he wished he had just gone with them to get lunch.

The line began to shuffle forward as another car was loaded up. Roy was now officially at the "one hour left" mark. He rolled his eyes and leaned on the railing, looking over the park. The gazebo his friends were to wait at was still empty and there was nothing exciting happening to help pass the time. The line moved again and Roy pushed himself off the railing.

Shouts came from behind him and Roy turned around to see a fight had broken out. One guy had the other by the neck, holding him down so his crony could beat on him. The one doing the beating was yelling as he punched the poor guy in the sides over and over again. Someone from the front clapped their hands, apparently happy for some entertainment. Roy pushed forward, determined to end the unfair beating.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?" someone shouted over the crowd. Roy stopped, but then a guy who had to be no more than twenty jumped over the railing and into the middle of the fight.

"Brother, no!" someone yelled from behind him. Roy watched as he grabbed the puncher's wrist and twisted his arm down, causing the guy to cry out. He let go and turned to the man holding the other down and jabbed him hard on the side. The man let go of the guy and held up his hands, clearly admitting defeat to this much smaller but much more powerful guy.

The guy with the twisted arm stood up and tried attacking his attacker, who turned and jumped, kicking him right in the jaw.

"We are at a fucking _amusement park_ in the middle of a goddamn line!" he yelled pointing at the two men he had just beat. "Be a man and grow the fuck up." Roy had a hard time holding back a laugh at what he had just seen.

The guy who broke up the fight was a good head shorter than Roy, with long blond hair tied in a ponytail. He didn't look very threatening, let alone capable of taking down two people at once. Someone else ran over to him, presumably his brother, and began scolding him for putting himself in danger.

"Step off, Al, those two idiots couldn't even touch me," he said, flashing the men he had beaten a smile. "Besides, if you need someone to hold down the guy you're fighting, you aren't a good fighter to begin with."

Al frowned at his brother. "Ed, you should really be more careful." Ed shrugged and the brothers walked back to their spot in line, a few people clapping for Ed on the way.

Security came and took away the three people who were fighting and the line shifted back to normal. A woman on the other side of the railing poked Roy in the side. Roy looked away from Ed and nodded at the woman.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

"What the hell were _you_ gonna do, anyway?" she sneered. Roy groaned and rolled his eyes. "No, seriously, I wanna know. You pushed me out the way and then just _stood_ there like a fucking deer in the headlights. Did you get a hard on for that short guy or something?"

"Listen," Roy growled, turning to face her completely, "I don't even know you so just back off." The woman shrugged and took a step forward, away from Roy. She whispered something to her friends and Roy looked away, rolling his eyes again.

"Don't listen to her," someone told Roy from behind. "She's just mad because she lost her place in line." Roy smiled but didn't turn around. He wasn't very eager to get yelled at again.

Besides the occasional comment about the fight, the wait for the roller coaster went back to normal. Long and boring. Roy looked back to the gazebo to see Maes waving at him, grinning and pointing to his phone. Roy threw up his hands, unable to hear what he was saying. Maes waved him away and walked out of sight. A man in a security vest rounded the corner just as Maes disappeared and headed straight for the line. Roy frowned, wondering what he could be doing.

The man cut through the fast lane and walked up to Ed. Roy struggled to see over the crowd of people, but it was pointless with everyone around him doing the same thing. Seconds later, Ed and Al were being escorted away by security, Ed looking very unhappy.

"Hey, there goes your new boyfriend," the woman taunted Roy.

Roy flipped her off and stepped out of line again. "Hey!" he yelled, waving at the security guy. "They _broke up_ the fight, they weren't part of it! Especially the tall one!"

"Did you just call me short?!" Ed barked. Roy shrugged and took a few more steps toward the security guy.

"These two guys didn't do anything," he said, ignoring the look he was getting from Ed.

The security guy shrugged. "I got all three of those kids saying that this man joined the fight, and witnesses saying they saw him kick one of them in the face. That's enough for me."

Roy shook his head and grabbed the man's arm. "They didn't do anything, ask anyone who was in line."

"Sir," the security guy backed away from Roy, "I'm going to have to ask you to step back in line."

"Yeah, but these two didn't _do_ anything!"

"Sir, step back in line."

"Let these guys go and then maybe I will," Roy snorted, crossing his arms.

"Hey, pal, you don't have to do this," Ed cut in.

"This guy shouldn't be escorting you out of line! You didn't do anything!"

"Sir, you're going to have to come with me."

"Hey, man, I'm just saying – "

"Sir."

Roy sighed and nodded. "Alright, alright. I'll go." He stepped over the railing and fell in line behind Ed and Al. The security guy grumbled something and began walking again. Ed looked over his shoulder and rolled his eyes.

"I'm Ed, you crazy bastard."

"Roy."


End file.
